SIGNS | GSA Manual : text-only version

What is a GSA?

GSA stands for Gay Straight Alliance.
You may or may not have one in your school. Do you know how to find out? GSAs are student groups like any other traditional ones you might know--Key Club, Chess Club, Environmental Club, etc. Like other clubs, GSAs are places where students can get together around an issue or topic. Different groups have different missions or goals. You can check out some pages of some GSAs to find out what other groups are doing.

This part of the SIGNS website will help you start or run your own GSA!

Generally, GSAs come in 4 different flavors:

• Social, like an informal meeting/networking/discussion forum.
• Support, offering some sort of therapeutic purpose.
• Educational, a group that puts on assemblies or does workshops or serves as a peer-education type thing. GSAs have been places where people learn about HIV prevention!
• Political, with the mission of stopping hate or oppression.

Central to all GSAs, though, is that they're places for us to learn about our differences and how to support each other.

Your group doesn't have to be one flavor or the other--most of the time, groups are a combination of flavors, with different levels of each kind. You may find a group even change shape within a month! Did you see a GSA respond politically to the murder of Matthew Shepard? Or have a social showing for the coming out episode of Dawson's Creek? All the things that GSAs do eventually:

• Protect us
• Affirm and provide safety
• Stop hatred
• Prevent violence in schools

GSAs are a relatively new concept...
But since the 1994 case in Utah, more and more GSAs are popping up around the United States. We at SIGNS feel that we are making history.

SIGNS
SIGNS is a project started in 1997 at the Youth Enrichment Services program of the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center in New York City. Maybe there's a project like us near you! If there's no group near you like SIGNS, you may be able to find someone locally who could help you out. But, you know, you're always welcome at the SIGNS family!

So you wanna' start a Gay Straight Alliance?

Yay!

Find out the rules for starting a club in your school.
Usually, there's a Coordinator of Student Activities at school. This is the person who would have information about starting a club. If such a person doesn't exist at your school, then ask a guidance counselor or Assistant Principal. The rules about starting a club may be different from school to school. Sometimes, starting a club means you have to get 50 signatures on a petition, or sometimes you just have to get a faculty advisor and then start meeting! These rules may also be different depending on if you're a public or a private school.

Start a checklist of things you have to do.
Read through any documentation that shows you how clubs are started. If it isn't written down, then take notes when you're talking to someone who has that information. Don't get discouraged--it can be pretty stressful and overwhelming. Make sure you take really good care of yourself as you set out to change the world!

Find some friends or allies.
This is a good time to find some people who can help you out with everything that needs to happen. No matter what, you're probably going to have to find a faculty advisor.

How do I find a faculty advisor?

Chances are you have somebody in mind...

• A guidance counselor you go to talk to when you need help.
• A coach who's always been good about stopping name-calling.
• A teacher who has a safe zone sticker or rainbow flag in his or her office.

The faculty advisor does not have to identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender to be a good ally! They just have to be supportive. Check out this diary entry from a GSA faculty advisor. Maybe it's something you'll want to show to the person you're thinking about for your club!

A faculty advisor is trustworthy and patient. They should have time to devote to the club. Most important--for any student club--is that a faculty advisor should believe in youth empowerment. That means they should be mentoring and coaching, not bossy or doing everything themselves. They should also be able to teach you how to do things that you might not know how to do.

Maybe this gives you a better idea of who your faculty advisor should be. If you still don't know, think about checking with:

• The person in your school who coordinates student activities
• Guidance counselors
• The diversity/multicultural activities coordinator
• The person in your school who runs the peer mediation of conflict resolution program

Once you have a prospective advisor in mind, be really clear with them about what you think the group is going to do. Let them know:

• The mission of the group--try writing up a preliminary mission statement or statement of purpose!
• What role you see them playing as faculty advisor to this group
• The time commitment you are looking for

If you've got all that covered, then you just have to use a little courage and approach them!

How should I let my school administration know about the GSA?

Before you register your club or start meeting, you should let your administration know what your plans are. Often, you'll have to talk to an Assistant Principal. Don't be scared--be prepared!

Your administration may have no problem at all with the formation of a GSA, but it's possible that they may have some hesitance or anxiety.

Here's what you should have ready for that meeting:

• A written statement of the group's mission and some anticipated activities that you are thinking about.
• A copy of Lambda Legal Defense Fund's article, Gay/Straight Clubs Formed by Public School Students: Why school officials need to treat them equally (Be sure to read it first!)
• A list of local resources that the administrator may contact for more information. Community Centers, PFLAGs, or GLSENs are good places for referrals.
• A list of other schools in your area or state that have GSAs.
• Background information about LGBT youth and their allies.

You might not need everything for that meeting, but it can't hurt to be prepared.

Go into the meeting well rested and confident that you are doing a good thing. Try to be calm and grounded. Don't go into the meeting expecting the worst or the best--if you do, you're more likely to be disappointed. Most of all--be yourself!

When and where should the group meet?

You know best about where the safest places in your school are. When thinking about where to have your meeting, it's important to have both accessibility and safety. There may be some students who want to attend the meetings but are afraid of being seen by others. Maybe there's a room somewhere that can be easily ducked into or is in a corridor that's not very busy. Also, if you're worried about safety, your group could meet at a time when not so many students are around.

In some schools, extracurricular groups can only meet during designated times, so you might not have a choice in the matter. Some other decisions you'll have to make:

• Whether to have the door open at all times
• Whether to advertise the group to the whole school or just through word-of-mouth
• Whether you want prospective members to have to meet with the faculty advisor before they start attending meetings. (This way, only members and those invited by the advisor know the place and time of the meeting.)

There's also something to be said for a GSA that tries to be just like any club. Some GSAs have decided to...

• Always have an open-door policy
• Meet during regular extracurricular times
• Announce their meetings through the loud speaker
• Post flyers about meetings
• Participate in bake sales and other regular school activities

It could be very positive for the school community to see a GSA knit into the regular fabric of the school.

It is most important to keep safe while you're doing this work. Usually, at the start of a new group, there's going to be lots of curiosity. That's when you might get a lot of people coming up to the door and trying to peep in and see what's happening. Sometimes it's worse, and people might run by and say or do something homophobic. In a worse case scenario, you might have to think seriously about your physical safety. It might be helpful for you to put together a safety plan with your faculty advisor before you meet.

Remember, it's the school's job to keep ALL students safe.

Homophobic remarks are not safe and it's perfectly in your right to ask the school to do its job. Sometimes school administrators don't act until someone complains, so speak up!

How do I let students know about the meetings?

The first decision you have to make is about the visibility of the club. Whether or not meeting times are public information will determine the way you advertise the club. (See the previous section.) Think about safety vs. accessibility again.

If your GSA is public, then more people will know about it. Maybe more people will come to bother it. Maybe it's too "out" for some students who aren't comfortable with that level of out-ness. If your club is more shielded, then not as many students will know about it. It may be safer for students, and it may be more welcoming to students who aren't totally out.

Some GSAs have chosen to have potential group members screened by the faulty advisor or a guidance counselor or school nurse before finding out meeting times and places.

Think creatively about how to spread the word about the club.

• Word of mouth Often, this is the most powerful advertising tool. Tell a few friends and have them tell a few friends and have them tell a few friends...you get the idea.
• Morning announcements You can also include your club's activities in the regular announcements, or have you and your friends talk about it in homeroom or during classes. If you ask a teacher for 15 seconds before the start of class, they hardly ever say no. (Don't ask for anything over two minutes!)
• Bulletin board Put up flyers advertising meetings.
• Flyers Give them to all the guidance counselors, school nurses, assistance principals, diversity coordinators, substance-abuse prevention program people (SPARK), mediation or conflict resolution people, or anyone else that people go to for one-on-one help. Some GSAs have put flyers in library books that deal with sexuality.

Whenever you make a flyer, or talk about the club, here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Is it clear what the goal of the group is?
• Do people get a sense of what coming to the group will be like?
• Is there a date, time, and place for the meeting?
• Does the flyer use inclusive language?
• Does the flyer use inclusive imagery?
• Does the flyer use symbols that might not be understood by everyone?

When you get really good at making flyers, you can start thinking about more creative ways to do it! In one school, GSA members passed out chocolate kisses to the whole school (they only have 288 students) with a postcard that said, "You've been kissed by the GSA!" Of course, it also had the meeting time and place and mission statement on the card.

If you've got a good idea about getting the word out, please write in and we'll share it with the world!

How do I facilitate a group?

A facilitator is like a juggler. (Don't worry--you don't actually need to know how to juggle!)
Facilitators have to:

Keep time Make sure discussion flows Enforce the group guidelines Address conflicts that may arise Help the group make decisions

Be inviting Make sure not one person is hogging all the time Encourage participation Watch the whole group to measure its reactions Be a role model AND have fun!

A facilitator is also a good ACTIVE LISTENER.
Active listening is about:

Smiling Leaning forward to pay attention Making direct eye contact Using humor appropriately

Being genuine Speaking pleasantly Reflecting back important points Nodding in agreement to show understanding or offer encouragement

Active listening is NOT about:

Looking at your watch Tapping your feet Looking out the window Listening to your walkman Turning away or leaning back Passing judgment

Being defensive Not making eye contact Being phony Giving too much advice Interrupting Crossing your arms

A good facilitator will also...

Large group (5 min)

Introduction Describe what this workshop is about. Here's an example of what you might say:

"First let me preface today's workshop by acknowledging that everybody comes from a different place and has very different experiences. When we talk about anatomy and sexuality, it's important to realize that not everybody looks the same or has the same parts or the same preferences. Like sexuality or gender, there's a whole spectrum of anatomy. Some people are born intersexed--meaning they have some parts of both sexes. There's nothing wrong with that.

"After anatomy, we're going to talk about STIs and HIV. Pay attention--because when we get back together, we're going to play Sex Jeopardy!"

Guidelines (5 min)

CRABS

Anatomy Warm-up (10 min)

• Option 1 Hand out the anatomy sheets. (You can get this from a biology textbook or encyclopedia.) Ask you group to position their bodies so that they look like the reproductive system. Each person should be at least one part. Then ask each part what its function is. For the female reproductive system, go through the menstrual cycle. For the male reproductive system, go through ejaculation.

• Option 2 Ask participants to go out and gather stuff from the environment that resembles each part. Then put them together and describe what the function of each part is. For the female reproductive system, go through the menstrual cycle. For the male reproductive system, go through ejaculation.

STI's: Naming the infections (10 min)

Put the categories on the wall: Bacteria, Viruses, Creepy-Crawlies Place the STIs under their correct heading of bacteria, viruses, or creepy-crawlies. Print out the setup for the game--you'll notice that they're already put into the correct categories. Be sure to mix them up when you're facilitating. Answer questions along the way.

Transition into how infections are behavior-based (10 min)

Infections are behavior-based, which means that it's what you do and not who you are that causes people to contract STIs. What are some stereotypes about gay people and STIs, including HIV/AIDS?

High Risk/Low Risk/No Risk (20 min)

Print out the setup for the game (Notice that the game set-up is in rough order from no risk to hi risk.) Place the categories of High Risk, Low Risk, and No Risk on the wall. Pick HIV from the exercise before. Ask participants to think about the behaviors that may put them at risk for HIV. Frame behaviors in terms of risk and then play High/Low/No. Pass out activity cards with the different behaviors, and ask people to place them on the spectrum from high risk to no risk. There will usually be some debate about whether a behavior is higher or lower risk than another. Remind people to think along a spectrum! Talk about how people decided to place the activities in the spectrum. How do we make decisions? Are there pressures that affect our decisions?

Process (15 min)

Were the activities hard for people? What are our earliest messages about our bodies? Sex? How are these messages linked to our body images and self-esteems? What role does sexuality play in your life? Talk about how sexuality is fluid and wide-ranging.

Object Erotica (20 min)

Break the large group up into smaller groups. Give one ordinary object (spoon, necklace, spatula, stuffed animal, etc.) to each group. Have each group brainstorm about all the non-penetrative, sexy, fun, exciting, erotic things they can do with that object. Give the groups 5 minutes to brainstorm, and then have them come together in a large group to share their ideas!

Closing (5 min)

Go around and name one new thing you learned today.

Substance Use Bingo

Opening Circle (5 min)

Introduce yourself and have everyone go around and say their name.

Large Group (5 min)

Introduction Describe what this workshop is about. Here's an example of what you might say:

"Substance Use Bingo is an activity intended to open discussion about young LGBT people's experiences with and values about substance use. It can be used independently or in connection with a larger substance use curriculum."

Ground rules (5 min)

CRABS

Substance Use Bingo (45 min)

1. First, make enough copies of the bingo board for everyone: click here or on the small bingo board to the right, and print out the board.

2. Explain that they will be expected to interview other members of the group to find out if they know the answers to the questions or hold the beliefs that are posed on the BINGO sheet.

3. If the person who is interviewed can answer the question or holds the belief stated, they sign off on the interviewee's sheet. Participants should only sign off if they have answered the question for their partner.

4. The object is to have every box signed on your sheet. The first person with a completed sheet yells out "BINGO!"

5. If you have a large group, you can set the limitation that each person can only sign a sheet once. If you have a smaller group you may want to let each person sign as many boxes as they like.

6. You may also choose to either have them yell BINGO after completing any row, column, or diagonal, or after getting every box filled out.

7. The goal of this activity is not to compete to win BINGO, but to learn more about the people in the group. (This may need to be stated.)

8. After BINGO has been called, have the group return to their seats and have the person who yelled BINGO read the statement or question, and the name of the person who signed that box.

9. Have the person who signed the box either answer the question for the rest of the group, or have them explain their stance on the issue presented. For example, if you have finished BINGO first and have a sheet in which "John" has signed a box, then John must answer the question in the large group discussion. Correct any misinformation or open the question to a large group discussion. Many of the questions are opinion based for discussion sake. For questions that necessitate factual answers an answer has been attached.

10. Continue in this fashion until all boxes have been discussed.

11. You may also end the activity without a full discussion of each box. This will depend on time constraints and your intention in using the activity.

Further Discussion Questions:

• What role do drugs play in your life?
• What messages about drugs have you heard?
• From whom, or where did these messages come?
• What is the difference between a legal drug and an illegal drug?
• What experiences have you had with drugs? Either legal or illegal?
• What role have drugs and alcohol played in the social lives of LGBT people throughout history?
• When do you think substance use becomes problematic, if ever?
• Why do you think so many LGBT people struggle with substance abuse problems?
• Is it possible to use drugs and not develop a substance use problem? Please explain your answer.
• Do you know anyone that you think has a problem with substance abuse?
• How would you know if a friend had a substance abuse problem?
• What would you do if you thought a friend or yourself had a substance abuse problem?
• Can you identify places in your community to go to for help with substance abuse? Where would you go? Would you go anywhere?
• What role does substance use play in HIV infection, STD transmission, sexual violence, unwanted pregnancy?

Answers To Some Substance Use Bingo Questions:

1. I know the drug most widely used in this country.

   Alcohol

2. I know two factors that determine the effects of alcohol on the body.

   Body weight, amount of alcohol in a given drink (percentage by volume), metabolism, how much food you have eaten, the period of time in which you consume the alcohol, other drugs or medication that you have taken.

3. I know two signs that a friend may have a substance use problem.

   Changes in Behavior- decreased interest in usual activities; dropping out of extracurricular activities such as school clubs and sports, withdrawal from friends and social activities, falling grades, mood swings, prolonged sadness or depression, School problems with attendance or behavior, secretiveness about new friends.
   Changes in Appearance- Irregular sleeping habits, changes in eating habits, red eyes, deteriorating personal hygiene, smell of alcohol, unexplained weight loss.
   Material Evidence- marijuana logos, drawings, posters, plastic bags, pipes, rolling paper, aerosol containers, balloons, hypodermic needles.

4. I know two places in my community that a friend can go for help if they are abusing substances.

   See attached listing of national hotlines and websites.

5. I know two potential side effects of using inhalants.

   Loss of coordination, loss of consciousness, slurred speech, drowsiness, vomiting, irregular heartbeat, euphoria, exhilaration, hallucinations, paranoia, brain damage, heart attack, death.

6. I can name two ways that drug use can affect sexuality.

   It can alter our judgment resulting in poor decision making- sleep with someone that you might not really want to, increases likelihood of sexual assault/rape, depending on the drug can impair sexual functioning- loss of erection etc..., under the influence of drugs you are less apt to use protection when having sex.

7. I know which drug is responsible for the majority of drug related deaths in the United States.

   Tobacco.

8. I know a social gathering place where queer people have historically socialized with each other.

   Gay bars and clubs.

9. I know two ways to reduce my risk for HIV if I use needles to inject drugs or hormones.

   If using needles for drugs or hormone injections- use clean needles each time you shoot up/ inject hormones, don¹t share needles with someone else, clean needle with bleach and water- by drawing in bleach and squirting it out then drawing in water and squirting it out- repeat this.

Closing (5 min)

Go around and name one new thing you learned today.

Our Lives in Jeopardy!

Facilitator note:
This workshop explores substance use in a fun and interactive way. Facilitators should have knowledge about different substances. It is also important to acknowledge that there may be some people in your group who are using or have experience with substances. The intent of this workshop is not to point them out or to shame anyone. This is an educational workshop.

Opening Circle (5 min)

Large Group (5 min)

Introduction Describe what this workshop is about.

Ground rules (5 min)

CRABS

Categories (45 minutes)

1. Homophobia 101
2. Then and Now
3. "What not"
4. Facts and Stats
5. Alphabet Soup
6. Advocacy

Homophobia 101

Answer: This elected official compared homosexuality to alcoholism and kleptomania.
Question: Who is Trent Lott?

Answer: At one time, a person caught in a bar raid needed three of these to avoid being arrested.
Question: What are pieces of clothing of one's gender?

Answer: Some of the forces that can increase the risk of substance abuse among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth.
Question: What are harassment, hatred, bigotry, etc.? (Anything consistent with the category.)

Answer: From its discovery until the summer of 1982, it was known as GRID: Gay-Related Immuno-Deficiency Disease.
Question: What is AIDS, Acquired Immuno-Deficiency Syndrome?

Answer: "I was drunk (stoned, high, etc)."
Question: What is a common excuse for homosexual experimentation?

Then and Now (Bar culture, Club culture)

Answer: This psychologist conducted the first studies of gay male culture in a gay bar.
Question: Who is Evelyn Hooker?

Answer: In the 1950's and 60's, this North Beach, San Francisco bar was a hot bed of gay culture and politics.
Question: What is The Black Cat?

Answer: The sponsor of the Boston-New York AIDS Bike Ride.
Question: What is Tanqueray?

Answer: In 1999, this NYC organization cancelled its Morning Party fundraiser due to drug-related deaths.
Question: What is GMHC (Gay Men's Health Crisis)?

Answer: GHB (Spell out), a potent party drug, can result in death when mixed with this substance.
Question: What is alcohol?

"What not"

Answer: A form of the animal tranquilizer ketamine, not the breakfast cereal.
Question: What is "Special K?"

Answer: A smoke-able form of cocaine, not a sidewalk fissure.
Question: What is "crack?"

Answer: To inhale volatile chemicals such as glue or cleaning fluids, not an activity of the Big Bad Wolf.
Question: What is "huffing?" (or "to huff")

Answer: A slang term for marijuana, not a source of lumber.
Question: What is "trees?"

Answer: This phrase describes a person who uses heroin, not an equestrian.
Question: What is "on the horse?"

Facts and Stats

Answer: This substance is responsible for the majority of drug-related deaths in the United States.
Question: What is tobacco?

Answer: Some things that can be impaired by substance use.
Question: What are sexual performance, vision, judgment, health, and many more?

Answer: This controversial strategy was originally introduced to reduce HIV transmission among intravenous drug users.
Question: What is needle exchange?

Answer: People are more likely to engage in this activity when using drugs or alcohol.
Question: What is unprotected sex?

Answer: The most direct, and quickest, method of delivering drugs to the brain.
Question: What is inhaling, smoking, etc? (Direct to lungs, then to heart, then to brain. Other methods must pass through the body before reaching the lungs.)

Answer: In 1997 and 1998, 54% of this group reported that they had used illicit drugs at least once in their lifetime.
Question: Who are 12th Grade students? ("Monitoring The Future" study. "Illicit" drugs include marijuana, hallucinogens, cocaine, heroin or any opiates, stimulants, barbiturates or tranquilizers not under a doctor's orders.)

Alphabet Soup

In this category, the Question is an acronym (letters that stand for words).

Answer: Classified as a hallucinogen, doses of this drug are measured in micrograms, meaning millionths of a gram.
Question: What is LSD? (Lysergic Acid Diethylamide.)

Answer: The charge which results from being caught driving with a blood alcohol level of .01 or greater.
Question: What is DWI or DUI? (Driving While Intoxicated or Driving Under the Influence)

Answer: The animal tranquilizer phencyclidine.
Question: What is PCP? (Spell Out)

Answer: This drug delivery method uses needles.
Question: What is IV? (Intravenous)

Answer: This party drug produces a euphoric, "warm 'n fuzzy" state.
Question: What is X? (Ecstasy)

Advocacy

Answer: A class-action suit would involve which branch of government?
Question: What is judicial?

Answer: This form of advocacy might involve soliciting a public interest story.
Question: What is media advocacy?

Answer: This activity, prohibited by the Federal government to programs using federal dollars, involves directly influencing legislation.
Question: What is lobbying?

Answer: This form of street activism takes the form of marches, protests, and demonstrations.
Question: What is direct action?

Answer: Once referred to as "an embarrassment to the Carter presidential campaign," this seasoned lesbian activist later served as Operations Manager of the White House under President Clinton.
Question: Who is Virginia Appuzo?

Closing (5 min)

Go around and name one new thing you learned today.

Safety in Schools

Opening Circle (5 min)

Large Group (5 min)

Introduction Describe what this workshop is about.

Ground rules (5 min)

CRABS

Warm up Game (15 minutes)

Heart Exercise

Draw a big heart. Describe a baby when it is born.

What do adults sometimes say to babies or children when they are irritated or angry? What do people say to girl babies? To darker skinned babies? To kids who speak with an accent? To kids with a disability? To boy kids who play with dolls, or girl kids who wrestle? For every negative remark, make a slash in the heart.

A heart is a delicate thing that bruises easily. Each of these remarks leaves a bruise. Each bruise grows a little scar. By the time we get to be as old as we are, we have lots of scars. To keep from getting hurt, we put up shields. When we have lots of pain, we put up lots of shields. These shields make it hard for the heart to grow.

What are some the shields we put up to keep from getting hurt again? For example, if an adult tells a young person to shut up, that person may learn to be silent all the time.

Draw another hurt heart next to the first heart. When two people meet, how easy is it for them to see each other through their shields? How much of the real person do we see behind a shield? When you say something to me, it has to go through all of my shields before it reaches me. So things may sound different by the time they get to me. Sometimes shields are important, but every time we put our shields down, there's more room for the heart to grow. That's why we have ground rules all the time--to help people feel safe enough to let a little bit of their shield down.

What is violence? (5 min)

What are the first things that come to mind when I say violence? Make a list on the wall. Talk about the Martin Luther King, Jr. definition: "Violence is anything that denies human integrity, and leads to hopelessness and helplessness."

Safety Plan role play (40 minutes)

Have one participant play a student who has just gotten into an unsafe situation in school. Have another student be there to guide them through making a safety plan. Pass out the safety planning worksheets. Check out what a Safety Plan looks like.

(5 minutes)      What is violence?

What are the first things that come to mind when I say violence? Make a list on the wall. Use the MLK, Jr. definition: "Violence is anything that denies human integrity, and leads to hopelessness and helplessness."

(40 minutes)      Safety Plan role play

Have one participant play a student who has just gotten into an unsafe situation in school. Have another student be there to guide them through making a safety plan. Pass out the safety planning worksheets. [link to safety planning section]

How do I outreach and diversify my group?

Are the same few people coming to your group?

Are there people you think would be great for the group, but they just don't come?

Are the demographics of your group members pretty homogenous--meaning that there's not a lot of diversity?

Unfortunately, there's no quick and easy way to outreach and diversify your group. It's going to take commitment and hard work. Think about times that you didn't feel 100% welcome in a group. What would have made it easier for you to become a member?

The first thing to do is to look inward...

• Is your mission statement inclusive and welcoming?
• Do your flyers say and represent everyone that you want to outreach to?

One of the greatest assets of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and straight communities is that we cross all other identity boundaries:

• We are White, African American, Asian, Latino/a, and Multiracial.
• We are higher income, lower income, and in-between.
• We are fat, thin, athletic, nerdy, artistic, shy, and bold.
• We are Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, Agnostic, Pagan, and everything else under the sun.

Our rainbow flag represents our diversity!

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you or members of your group carry stereotypes?
• Do you use inclusive language that doesn't offend or exclude anyone?
• Do you use gender-neutral language?
• Are you good at not making assumptions?

The best way to get diversity in the group is for group members to get involved in other groups!

• Attend other club meetings.
• Let them know about your group and the kinds of things you're doing.
• Talk about co-sponsoring something.
• Ask questions.
• Talk, talk, talk.
• Listen.

Stressed? Who's stressed? How can I be busy and take care of myself?

Fill in the blanks: "Aaarhg! I've got      papers to do,      tests,      sports meets, problems with     ,     , and     , SATS, college applications, AND I've got to think about GSA!!!"

Does that sound like your mantra? Maybe you're stressed.

Here's an exercise we do at SIGNS to check-in with our own stress levels. It's called an EcoMap:

Imagine that you are a person in the basket of a hot air balloon. The balloon is helping to lift you up-it's your support. The rocks holding you down are your stressors-things that stress you out. Balloons and rocks can come in different sizes. Sometimes, one thing is both a balloon and a rock.

After you do your EcoMap, step back and look at it. Are there some stressors that you can cut loose or make smaller? Are there some balloons that you want to add?

If GSA is a big stressor, maybe there are some responsibilities you can delegate. It's a great way to teach someone else how to do the wonderful things you know how to do. (This is way important if you want your group to keep going after you've graduated...) Maybe there are people in the group who've always said they want to do more. Maybe you've already lost members because they didn't feel like they could contribute. This is a great moment to pull someone aside and ask for help.

Below is a list of ways that SIGNS members like to de-stress. Write in and add your own suggestions!

• Listen to music
• Go for a walk
• Watch a movie
• Meditate
• Swim
• Play basketball
• Talk with friends
• Go to a museum
• Make lists
• Write in a journal
• Lay on the floor and do that thing like riding a bicycle in the air with your legs and feet.

How do I know if I'm doing a good job?

It's important to feel like you're doing good work. In fact, take a moment right now and say something nice about yourself. Think about all the things you've accomplished. Congratulate yourself! Give yourself a hug or a pat on the back. Smile--you're making your school a better place!

Okay. Now if you're still asking whether you're doing a good job, then it's probably time to regroup with the GSA. Ask yourself these questions:

• How long has it been since you've asked the group members if they're having a good time?
• Have you been too busy to have fun with the GSA?
• Have you asked for feedback about your leadership?
• Have you talked with your faculty advisor lately?

Giving and getting feedback is a hard process.
What follows are some suggestions that might make it easier. Give a copy of these guidelines to everyone, and make sure everyone is good about following them! Also, it's really important to know if it's a good time and place for giving feedback. Ask first before you do it.

Effective feedback is clear, honest, direct, descriptive, constructive, timely, and delivered with concern for others' well being.

Here are some guidelines:

• Encourage your peers to be open and honest about their feelings and concerns.
• Listen without arguing or judging.
• Try to understand their perspective.
• Ask clarifying questions.
• Resist the temptation to "explain" your position or argue back.
• Ask others if they want your feedback--don't assume that other people want feedback.
• Give as much positive feedback as you give constructive feedback.
• Use "I" statements and messages. An "I" statement should include a feeling: "I feel like what I have to say isn't important when I get interrupted."

Help! I'm graduating. How do I keep the group going?

Hopefully, you're not reading this section the day before graduation. It's best to start planning for new leadership at least one semester in advance.

If you're in the NYC area, you can always persuade a younger group member to come to SIGNS to learn and practice leadership skills. If you're not near us, you can have them do stuff while you're still around so you can show them how it's done. Here are some tips to get you going:

• Share decision-making.
• Talk out loud when you are making a decision.
• Introduce that person to all your contacts (especially Assistant Principals, guidance counselors, and Student Activities Coordinators).
• Practice planning events together.
• Encourage, encourage, encourage.

Be mindful that even though the GSA has been your baby, when you leave, it's going to be different.

New leaders should be encouraged to...

• Develop their own styles
• Experiment with new things
• Add to the best parts of your group
• Take away stuff that's not working
• Revamp, renew, and recycle!

If there's no one willing to step up, then your faculty advisor could be a real help. Make sure the faculty advisor is committed to keeping the group going. One GSA advisor we know of said that she would always be in the meeting room at the meeting time--even if no students came. That's dedication! And you know what? That GSA has never been without an active group.

The faculty advisor could also help you encourage or find new people. They can talk to teachers or guidance counselors to see if there's someone who could be the next student leader.

Don't worry--it's perfectly normal for a group to go through stages. Some years, the group is going to be really vital, and other years, it may be recouping.

Produced by SIGNS, a project of the Youth Enrichment Services Program of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center. © 2001 Comments or questions? Please write to yes@gaycenter.org